by Kim Kincell
My homeschoolers are all graduated now. Looking back, what would I say is the most important thing as you younger moms plan your upcoming school years?
As with nearly all veteran homeschool parents I know, I have no regrets related to prep for college or jobs. I feel that my graduates were as good with facts, more discerning of worldview, and as academically mature as others their ages. I guess I’m saying that the academic benefits of homeschooling were just as research predicted.
But honestly, as I watch my adult children make adult decisions, I realize that the most important issues they face as adults are moral and spiritual. The question is whether we have given them the foundation to withstand temptation and counter false “truth.” Beginning in college and extending through life, they will be bombarded with lies masquerading as truth. Have we given them the tools to withstand the barrage of false voices that fill public spaces, work places, and social media?
My heart breaks as I hear of homeschool graduates who flourish academically (no matter what kind of curriculum or style their parents used) but who, just like their public school counterparts, are losing their footing on spiritual issues. While not as universally as their public school counterparts, they aren’t all surviving the pressures. Yes, they are making the dean’s list in college, but some are failing in what is most important.
Why? I’ve been asking that question and praying for an answer. And the Lord leads me back where He always leads: to His Word. Answers are always found there.
1. I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.
That reassuring verse from Psalm 119 comes immediately to mind. When push comes to shove, Scripture must be the foundation for truth. As helpful as it might be, it’s not enough for our kids to attend church to sing songs, learn Bible stories, and play games in children’s church/teen group. Even discussions in youth group about peer pressure and neighborly behavior won’t establish them well enough. If we want them to not sin (not get pregnant out of wedlock, not change genders, not forsake the Lord and His ways), they need to have the living Word in their hearts. It is “living and active and sharper than a double-edged sword.”
When I’m praying for answers on any subject, the Spirit gently brings Scriptures to my mind. And when He does, I can be confident that it’s God talking to me and not just me talking to myself. Scripture is His Word, not mine. I can trust it. He uses it in my life. He uses it in my children’s lives.
Of course we want our kids to know science, social studies and math. But that’s what nearly everyone else wants for their kids, too. We are Christians. We most want our children above all to be Christ-followers. And for that, they need His words. He is the Word. Our job – our privilege – as moms and dads is to hide Scripture in their hearts so that when they pray, His words will come to their minds. Even if they don’t pray, the Spirit can still bring it to their minds when we pray for them.
2. Give the Gospel; live the Gospel.
The eternal destination of our children is vastly more important than their university destination or successful vocation. What our children believe about God is the single most important thing in this life for them. But how will they call on Him of whom they have not heard? For…faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. (Romans 10:13-15)
That brings us back to His Word, but particularly His Gospel. We pray that our children will believe, but God Himself says they can’t believe in something they haven’t heard about. We are not only to give them the Gospel, but live the Gospel. Live grace. Demonstrate forgiveness – both the giving and receiving of it. Proverbs 24:16 says the righteous falls seven times yet gets back up again. Galatians 3 tells us to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead. The Gospel is less about perfection and more about grace. Do we extend that grace to our children? Do we teach them repentance and getting right back up? Do we demonstrate that we serve a God who embodies grace? Do they know the love of God?
Our children need to know the Gospel so that prayerfully they will believe the Gospel from deep within their hearts. If they don’t, they are condemned already (John 3:16-18). That truth should drive us to our knees.
3. Educate, don’t just school.
Matthew 28 commands us to make disciples:
Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you.
We can’t make converts, but we can make disciples. Prayerfully our children will believe and be saved. But that’s not the end.
If we are to make disciples of all nations, surely we start in our own homes. Teach your children to observe all things that He commanded, and to love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength – and to love their neighbor as themselves. That if they don’t work, neither will they eat. That if they don’t forgive, neither will they be forgiven. There are 66 books to study. Make the Bible your first and best library.
A good online article offers sage advice:
“Knowing your child involves far more than lecturing on what to believe. It mandates conversation and asking questions. It requires the Deuteronomy 6 method of discussing God’s Word, day and night. Don’t shut children down if they express doubts or question a conventional position on an issue. Draw them out. Demonstrate that it is safe to work through struggles and confusion with you.”
Deuteronomy 6 says that we are to teach our children when we sit at home, walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up. Disciples are those who live with us and learn from us – by everything we do.
Everything has a worldview. Science. Math. Grammar. Do everything to the glory of God.
I no longer homeschool because I no longer have littles. My children don’t sit on my lap for read aloud anymore. I no longer tell them what to do and put them in time out if they don’t. Primarily I just watch and pray as they traverse this world as adults. And the thing is, I’m most thankful for every word of God that my husband and I planted in their minds. I’m grateful for every Christian friend, particularly the older ones, that they came to know and love while at home. I’m grateful for the preachers of truth they sat under. I’m grateful that we didn’t give up – because they were watching us (and always will). (Galatians 6:9) But mostly, I’m grateful for the love of God and His Holy Spirit whom I trust with their lives.
When you’re looking back, only one thing will truly give you satisfaction:
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth! (3 John 4)
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