Than Everyone Else’s?
Well, yes. It probably does. But there’s a great reason!
Maybe you used to be able to keep a clean house; but now as soon as you clean it, the dust and debris fairies wave their magic wand and it’s dirty again *poof*. Sometimes by the time you vacuum the second room, the first room already has fuzz and crumbs on the carpet! You pick up and pick up, but the clean lasts but a moment or two.
Well, we understand entirely! And here’s the “problem”: A House That Is Lived In Gets Dirty.
Proverbs 14:4 puts it this way: “Where there are no oxen, the stable stays clean, but from the strength of the ox comes an abundant harvest.”
You’ve made a counter-cultural decision to be home centered! That’s a fancy way of saying that you and your kids are home more than most. And therefore you make your messes at home.
When the neighbor’s kids are in school all day long, they track their dirt there and the school janitor picks up after them. When her toddlers are in daycare and spill milk, the daycare workers clean that up. See how that works? They use the toilets and the lunch tables at the school or daycare – not at home. Consequently, the neighbor needs to tidy but a small portion of what you do! She might have a house like yours, but no one eats there, potties there, or lives there all day long. And that would be why her house stays clean better than yours!
She even cleans her whole house while no one is there to mess it up before she’s finished! What wonder that must be! Her family doesn’t come back home until late afternoon. Even then, she merely hauls them right back to after-school activities with a quick run through a drive-through (no cooking and no clean up). If instead they are home through the evening, they likely just eat dinner and work on homework. They may even veg out after a long day at school: little mess, little work.
But not you! Your kids are creative. They get their school work done in half the time and creatively play for the rest. They wrestle with each other. They make art projects, build tents in the family room, and track in from the back yard. The pillows are off the sofa – again – and the toys are askew.
You counter that you’ve taught them to clean up after themselves. Of course you have! Your kids certainly put their blocks away and take off their dirty shoes at the door. Good job, Mama! But there’s debris in the wake of that play! Their all-day play stirs up the dust that then settles back on the furniture. Your living room is not a static room like the neighbor’s. You guys actually live in it!
There was a day when all the preschoolers were home with Mom. I remember those days! And homes reflected that. Moms even embraced it. In that same time period, kids came home after school – at 3:30 or so – and spent the evenings and the whole summer there. Back then, my mom called it a house that looked “lived in” rather than magazine-ready. And she spoke of a magazine-ready house as belonging to a woman who was stingy and selfish, who wasn’t generously raising her kiddos well because she kept them from living well. I actually love that she put those thoughts in my head when I was but a child myself!
While I’m not advocating that you give up and live in a pigsty (Mom’s house was actually pretty clean!), I am advocating that you embrace the fact that your home is not a decoration, but rather a place for a family to be. To belong. To be together. And if yours is a bit messy because of that, you are blessed! By all means, figure out how to keep your house as well as possible, but don’t apologize that your family lives there!
Poet Edgar Guest expressed it in such a lovely way:
It takes a heap o’livin’ in a house t’ make it home,
A heap o’sun and shadder, an’ ye sometimes have t ‘roam.
Afore ye really ‘preciate the things ye lef’ behind,
An’ hunger fer ’em somehow, with ’em allus on yer mind.
It don’t make any differunce how rich ye get t’ be,
How much yer chairs an’ tables cost, how great yer luxury;
It ain’t home t’ ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o’ wrapped round everything.
Home ain’t a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;
Afore it’s home there’s got t’ be a heap o’ livin’ in it;
Within the walls there’s got t’ be some babies born, and then
Right there ye’ve got t’ bring ’em up t’ women good, an’ men;
And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn’t part
With anything they ever used – they’ve grown into yer heart:
The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore
Ye hoard; an’ if ye could ye’d keep the thumbmarks on the door.
Ye’ve got t’ weep t’ make it home, ye’ve got t’ sit an’ sigh
An’ watch beside a loved one’s bed, an’ know that Death is nigh;
An’ in the stillness o’ the night t’ see Death’s angel come,
An’ close the eyes o’ her that smiled, an’ leave her sweet voice dumb.
Fer these are scenes that grip the heart, an’ when yer tears are dried,
Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an’ sanctfied;
An’ tuggin’ at ye always are the pleasant memories
O’ her that was an’ is no more – ye can’t escape from these.
Ye’ve got t’ sing an’ dance fer years, ye’ve got t’ romp an’ play,
An’ learn t’ love the things ye have by usin’ ’em each day;
even the roses ’round the porch must blossom year by year
Afore they ‘come a part o’ ye, suggestin’ someone dear
Who used t’ love ’em long ago, an’ trained ’em jes’ t’ run
The way they do, so’s they would get the early mornin’ sun;
Ye’ve got t’ love each brick and stone from cellar up t’ dome:
It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’ make it home.
Edgar A. Guest (1881-1951)
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